I Ain`t Got Time To Spell Check!

What’s up all my ばか外国人 (Baka gaikokujin) ? It’s been a long time. Got three hours of sleep last night. Boy am I tired. No pun intended.

Since we last met, some important things have happened. I went back to the G.O.C. for I believe what was my third time in 16 months. My last two times, stepping back into the land of freedom was like a breath of fresh air. This time, it was like inhaling from a gas mask rigged up to a plastic surgeons lipo suction tube. Choke Choke! Man, G.O.C.ers are ugly. You guys are really letting yourselves go since I’ve been gone! I guess it’s been happening ever since the era when women were undomesticated, the era when coterminaly men were forced to start fending for there own slovenly selves. All I got to say, is that there were a lot of ugly fat bozos in the airport, not the kind of thing you want to see after you have been traveling for 24 hours straight.

Also, while my its not good the employees of United Airlines that the airline is going under, it sure is for the passengers. Three quarters legroom of a traditional airline seat… means that you can not lean your legs on the seat in front of you, cannot slouch, and cannot stick your head on the seat in front of you. Even shorties had problems. Also, the food portions were half size, and if you wanted something to eat on the six hour flight from San Fran to Boston, you had to pay 9 bucks (or 6 bucks for bits of chocolate.)

I don’t want to spend to long discussing my vaca in The G.O.C.. It was good. Slept, slothed, saw fam and friends, and had a freaking amazing New Years Eve dressed to the deck on a boat cruise in Boston Harbor with some boyz.

I got back to Japan. Me and the girl who I had been dating before my departure became official 4bf/gf shortly after I got back. So that is one thing that is different. I have a (Japanese) girlfriend. She speaks OK English, not fluent, but she has a large vocabulary. So I speak to her in Japanese and she speaks to me in English or Japanese. She’s almost 3 years my senior, but its chill. Also, she’s a rockr girl, so we go out to live shows a lot. Its actually pretty fun. Heck, I might as well tell you where I first met her, its an interesting story.

After arriving in Kobe, fresh on the scene, looking for good haunts, I would go out on the weekends (when my slave labor North Korean Elementary wasn’t forcing me to work crack of dawn hours on Saturday mornings starting at 8:30, that puts a damper on going out Friday,) and peruse different interesting bars. Well, I found one that I frequented. That bar was called Flamenco, and I’m proud of finding it. The clientelle was the local Arab expat community, as the owner was from Morocco, so it was a fun mix. The first night I went I got into a long conversation defending to a certain degree (out of principal,) while also elucidating the American perspective on Big Oil, The Middle East, etc, which I think garnered their respect, because I was .always OK there after that. (However, other Americans were, apparently, not treated as well.) That bar sadly changed ownership on December 28 and I have no idea what happened to the ownership! Anyways, the other bar that I found out was called Tulip Hat. (I used to think it was called Tulip Heart, but was recently corrected.) It was 500 yen per drink, and promised rock and roll/ punk music atmosphere, so I was down. It was a little intimidating to walk up the narrow stairs, and open the wood door to the bar-side, having no idea what or who was there. Well, I opened that door one night, not my first time passing an eager eye by, and in there saw … a bar tender, three girls sitting at the counter, and a large Japanese guy passed out on the floor. It looked like a murder scene, except everyone was very relaxed and in a good mood. Seeing a body in a bar the width of the counter +1 body makes you wonder if you can come in, and so I asked, “Is it OK?” and the bartender said “of course, come in.” I started talking to them there – being a foreigner is definitely an icebreaker in this country – and they appreciated that I did not come into their bar speaking English at them. (Japanese-speaking Americans did do that last night at Tulip Hat.) I talked to her, let’s call her Fu, or better yet 史, and it was fun. That whole night was crazy. After a while about a dozen people walked in, including a man in a pink suit. 史 herself was wearing a nice dress. After getting sufficiently drunk with this raucous party, I find out that it was this guys’ wedding day, and this was the after party after the wedding reception. His stage name is Johnny, he is in many locally popular rock bands, and I have seen him live on more than one location. Actually, the family does not go to the wedding reception in this country, or at least, not amongst 史’s friends. That is just for friends. The serious family stuff is before at a church or a temple, what have you. Also, there is no dancing at Japanese receptions, although they do play games and give speeches. Busting a groove is not really a part of traditional Japanese culture.

Afterwards, I arranged to meet 史 a few more times at Tulip Hat. After a while we decided to hang out at a place other than that bar! And then things happened from there. Hey, if you think this blog is about to turn Full House Feelings Confessional, then you got another thing coming! Actually, in practice, I really don’t have any problem revealing personal details of my life in practice, especially on the blogosphere, it’s just it feel like it violates some sort of unwriteen protocol. And you can’t claim TMI, because by reading this blog, you hearby waive the right to TMI. Needless to say, I don’t think that is TMI.

So that is chill, and probably the biggest thing to change. We hang out a decent amount, and she lives about 2 miles away I would guess. Kobe is hecka small. Also, if you are wondering what the heck 2 people with a respectable language gap can fill their conversations with, let me give your curious mind and posterity an example. There is a guy called Johnny. And he is crap and makes Lou Pearlman (sentenced in May to a prison term of 25 years I just found out) look like a man with artistic integrity. In otherwords, he is a peddler of boy bands. One of the recent ones is called Heisei Jump (Sounds like Hey Say Jump!). Heisei is the current era we are in right now in Japan, with eras determined by the passing away of the old and succecion of the new emporer. It started in the nineties, I think, and so the band name means all the members were born in Heisei (and hence young dreamboats) Before Heisei it was Showa. In addition to traditional Japan, there is also fast food Japan, and if you want someone will through some fried fish on top of your bowl of rice, pour some SAUSU on top of it, and call you happy. That meal, if its tuna, is called maguro-don. So anyways, me and 史, both being of the rock persuasion are gonna start a band. It’s going to be called… since we were born in the eighties, Showa Jump! And our first hit single will be called maguro-don. Lolz. It goes down pretty well over here. If that just flew over your head, I apologize. Our second hit single is called ostracism. (“Ostracism” is a great random vocabulary word to know, learned that with my old roommate last year when we learned “Ostracism” (murahachibu) before we learned how to ask for a bowl of maguro-don.)

Let me discuss some chill parties that I’ve been to recently, because, why not? Actually, I have been going out with Fumi to her friends’ apartments, and it is really allowing me to see a completely different side of Japan. I don’t think I had been to a Japanese person’s apartment since I got here until we started dating, and it came as a mild shock to learn that Japanese enjoy entertaining as well! Not gonna discuss all them, just 1 really. We were going to go to 史’s friends house to play Mahjonng. Like bridge, a 4 player game. Like bridge, best played for money. Neither 史 nor her friend really like mahjonng, but her friend’s live in beau does, and 史 knows I got the money for skill games in my blood and that I want to learn mahjonng. We played it once before to fizzling results. Anyways, we open the door sharply at 6pm, and bang, pop, streamers, surprise! It was the day before 史s birthday. Turns out That her friends had decided to get together and throw her a bday party! Hecka nice I thought. Due to the layout of the relative spaciousness of the apartment, and the large group, (maybe 20?) of people there, there was necesarilly a lot of mingling, whereas previous nihonjin parties I attended were a lot of communal sitting. This did throw me for a loop a little bit, and 史 repeatedly asked me if I was OK. I was, I told her, I’m a man, I’m not a woman! My Japanese is alright, but lets face it, Im not gonna win any conversational prizes. My tactics include asking people questions and then nodding with a lot of “Oh I see, is that so, really” ‘s thrown in, whilst not generally understanding their response. Ah well, we try. I felt I was kind of awkward at that party, which was kind of embarrassing, but what u gonna do? For minor example, I was sitting at the counter while 史 was cutting sweet potatoes. They were cooked and 史 offered me one. I started eating it. The people sitting on the couch appeared horrified. Someone started saying something about the sweet potato and referencing to the sofa. Maybe I was supposed to eat at the table with them, or wait for them to start of something, but hey, I got the go ahead! After really not understanding what was going on, I just put my hands together, bowed slightly, and said, “I’m sorry.” That seemed to defuse the situation. Other more important examples, though, include trying to blab about something in poor Japanese, being unable to do so, and seeing my conversation partners look bored, disinterested, and then slightly angry that Im wasting their time with this conversational attempt. Hurry up and learn our language! I imagine they must be thinking. However, despite these negative feelings, it was an awesome party, and I had a real blast. I really like all of 史’s friends, they are a cool bunch.

One more thing, everyone cooked! Even a man cooked! Interesting and impressive: this week-day-drunk-fest managed to turn into Martha Stewart Living; more interesting: everytime someone would slave at the stove for an hour and emerge with some exquisite looking work of culinary love, they would always say “Oh this doesn’t look very good. Im sorry, but this looks pretty bad, and I don’t think it will taste very good, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Sorry?!! THANK YOU for at least trying (and because it does look good.) I saw Joy Luck Club where the Asian mother puts down her own food, but it was so weird to see it in real life and to hear it come out of the mouths of 20 and thirty somethings. Its part of the Japanese bunka to never complimenting yourself. G.O.C.ers are verry braggart, nothing wrong with that of course, and its just a shock of cold water to witness the exact opposite. I think that underlying principal is one of the reasons Iike this country. (It takes you 3 years to figure that out???!) I mean, if some old geezer was dissing her food that is one thing, but these were just young people! It sounded old-geezerly in a way, but they were young, darn it! Crazy. Also, no one really admited to being good at videogames, nor at mahjong. There is one guy, who didn’t come to the party, who I like, who has admited to being good at mahjong. However, he has also described himself using the word “genius”, so he may be a braggart. I said they were 20 and thirty somethings. 史 is of the younger range amongst her friends, having just turned 26. Her childhood friends, (her circle of good friends still includes people from elementary and middle school!) are also 26, and their boyfriends and husbands are thirties. Just thought it worth noting that there seemed about a +5 average age difference between each beau and belle, or husband (“master” in Japanese) and wife.

I apologize, to you foreigners and to the people of the LOTRs (Lord of The Rings / Land of The Rising sun,) which also includes in its issued parties elfs as well as ents, but not orcs or the inhabitants of Mordor, apologize for making every blog post a lesson in cutural anthropology, but the fact that I still find different things every day to wonder about says something. I run the risk of otherizing Japan. Whether one otherizes every foreign country one lives in is something I am not qualified to speak on, having only lived hear and in the Grand old G.O.C.. On yet another tangent, man Japanese love to otherize people. It is in their blood, and they don’t see a single thing wrong with it. It is as natural as breathing to them. Japanese are Japanese and love this or this hear frequently. Japanese love sushi is not a generalization, it is a truth, in many Japanese eyes. Similarly, foreigners are always viewed with a different set of lenses. There is no controversy at the racial profiling that the foreigners receive from police officers. I think police officers are taught foreigners commit more crimes and should be stopped more therefore, which is bad itself, but statistically foreigners commit proportionally and actually less crime than Japanese! Japanese are dangerous!!! And yesterday when we went to the rock club, where a bunch of my friends had independently decided to go as well, and hence all the foreigners in there knew each other, 史 commented, to me, multiple times, in a slightly negative tone, “There are a lot of foreigners here tonight, aye?” And to which I responded, “Foreigners also live in Japan, 史.” And 史 is liberal about these things!!! Things like that are frustrating. I got in to the real Japan a little bit at the birthday party, and it was very surprising!. The exluding exterior is kind of ugly.

BTW, it makes sense that Japan is different. It is the East. The East is fundamentally different from the West. We have our history, they have theirs. (I can’t name random ancient Chinese generals.) We have our philosophy and they have theirs. (My educated friends had never heard of Plato, or at least only slightly.) Plato!

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Alright, since last we met I have continued to exist, located temporally in the present or in 2009, and spacially in Japan, within a 100 square mile radius centered on the port city Kobe. I still have the same identity, along with its associated behavioral patterns. Thus it took me a long time to update, but I am finally doing it now.

Since we last met some important things have happened. The number one thing is that me and 史 broke up. Why? Well I know, but you don’t. I think the poets said it best when they said, “love truly is the greatest mystery.” And like I like to say, it never works out, except for once.
My local watering hole/ hang out spot will become tricky to visit now. The bar is real small and intimate, everyone knows each other, everyone is 史’s friend, and 史 frequently visits. I am friends with some people there too, including the bar master, but I think it might be best if I cool it a little bit. Not sure, gonna have to do some political maneuvering there. Also, I like to go to live rock shows, and so do some of my friends, but those live shows 史 also frequents, so we shall see. What is true is that I will be seeking out other places to go.

What I have complained about before, either on this blog or elsewhere, is that I don’t have any young coworkers to hang out with at my job. While it seems like most other foreigners rely on their job and coworkers as a launching point for their social life, I do not have that asset. Therefore I have to go out and hustle to make friends. Actually, I do have some people in the area who I would consider friends, but they live kind of far away. In Kobe, my friends are 史’s friends and hence there is a potential conlict of interest. Also, I don’t have any G.O.C. friends in Kobe, which I would like. However, I don’t want to turn into one of those people who only hangs out in English speaking bars and knows every Joe Schmoe from Idaho. That’s boring. (When I do hang out with foreigners in the foreigner scene in Kobe, I see how small and insectuos it is.) Basically, I’m gonna look for small bars with a theme that interests me. If its not famous, good.
I played poker last weekend. I lost 1500 yen. I am a little rusty, I can tell. I still had some skills, but I lost the ability to pull the trigger or bite the hard but necessary bullets. Gonna get better. In theory, I could make a killing at that poker game, because most of the players were quite soft. At Umass, at the softest, 2 players would be very skilled, 3 players would be good (including me,) 3 players would be average, 2 players would be easy money; at this game 3 players were good (including me,) 2 average, and 5 were easy money. I was playing with people who had no idea about fundamental concepts of poker, such as “fold when you are probably not going to win.”

I met a Lithuanian math professor teaching at Kobe University there. (He was good.) We hung out last weekend when he invited me to a foreigners party. The party was 15 people standing in a room with finger foods in the middle. A party with the atmosphere of a pta meeting, nonetheless, it was wholesome fun. Today he invited me (after I previously expressed interest,) to come attend some lectures and/or seminars of a visiting math professor in March. Definitely gonna do that. Wish I could make the seminars but prob cant, but think I can swing in one lecture.

One more very important thing happened, yesterday. I saw Jason Mraz live. He has been my favorite singer for about 6 years, I have all of his regular CDs and numerous bootleg recordings. I love his live bootleg stuff even more than his amazing studio work, so you can imagine how excited I was to see him in person. I had two tickets and invited a friend to come with me. We met at the subway station and walked to the venue, Nanba Hatch. Inside we had to wait while they called the ticket numbers, good thing I had a Japanese speaker there to tell me when we could go in. The venue wasn’t small, bigger than a small club, but definitely not an arena. We had floor tickets and were maybe 15-20 feet from Mr A-Z. The crowd packed in like sardines though. This put a damper on the show though, because no one was dancing! They were doing the “standing-still” – the brand new step that everybody isn’t moving to. I thought that they were bored, but it turns out they were having a ball! (Dismemberment Plan lyrics.) Anyways, ya, I was getting my dance on to the best of my ability in the little space, but I saw not 1 other person trying to groove. Oh well, it was crowded. Actually, one guy in back of me kept trying to invade my space, so I had to elbow him and warn him to step back.

Let’s face it. I love Jason Mraz so much there was no way I was not gonna love the concert. And love it I did. One hundred fifty dollars and zero regrets. At first he looked tired and appeared to be phoning it in. He seems to be on perpetual tour, so he has his concerts down to an art I’m sure. Spontanaeity I desired, and there was some amount of spontanaeity, but nonetheless, what Jason Mraz gave did not dissapoint. As the crowd warmed up (pretty much on fire from the beginning,) so did Jason, I think. Anyways, his set list was amazing. He played not very popular songs that I personally love. Hey Jason, we Are on the same wavelength! He skipped a lot of the filler on his newest album. Essentially, he played all gems. Highlights of the evening? For an encore (I think it was an encore,) he played Clockwatching. Clockwatching is my favorite song off his second album, its not very famous, and while I was going nuts, I enjoyed that the rest of the crowd seemed to be unfamiliar with this one. Another good moment was when he sang his song about high fives (he wanted to write a song about high fives!) and I had someone with whom to share high fives. Good times, good times. I saw the concert yesterday on Wednesday, but haven’t stopped beaming since Tuesday. Good times.

Death Cab for Cutie is coming to Osaka. I saw them 5 years ago, one of the best shows I’ve ever been to. There new album is good. However, I don’t have a strong desire to spend 6000-7000 yen to see them. I know now, though, that if I am ever within a reasonable distance of a Jason Mraz concert, no matter what time of the year it is, it is my categorical imperative to go. I probably won’t go see Death Cab. John Legend in March… well, that’s another story.
Finances: I make 2600 G.O.C. dollars a month, actually, with the yen strong, I make about 3000 dollars. (I want to be a trillionaire in Zimbabwe. That is my dream.) So that’s a lot of money, and I don’t notice a large accretion of money in my bank account. I want to start saving money, so that I have money for trips and rainy days and what not. I’m thinking about taking 500 dollars each month and depositing that in a separate account or some place where I won’t be using it. With my bank’s online services, I can trade in foreign currencies. With the strong yen, maybe it would be good to invest in other currencies. Frankly, I have no clue about that stuff though. 500 dollars is a lot of money, but after that, I would have 2100 dollars. Minus 500 for rent and 300 for bills, and you are looking at 1300 dollars a month. Seems livable. 40 dollars per day. If I didn’t eat out so much, it would make it easier. Correlary – if I have 1300 to live on per month, then I might be compelled to eat out less.

I went to a Valentines Day party. That was a lot of fun. It was all the way down in my old stomping grounds Himeji. My friend and his friends rented a large reception room that they decked out and turned it into a veritable prom space. The party was thus a prom, and I won best dressed for my outfit – flower blazer, tuxedo shirt, tight jean shorts, long white socks, brown dress shoes. I’m glad I beat out the man in the dress. Sure you are different, but you are not original. Your outfit may require courage, but you are safe in the domain of a well worn, well recognized joke. Thus, if you wear a dress, you are showing no effort in creativity, and, in falsely and loudly proclaiming individuality, are being disingenuous. I lost the best dressed award unjustly in high school to a boy in a dress, (my melon tuxedo was superior to this hobo outfit,) but like Martin Scorcese winning the Academy Award for The Departed and not for Goodfellas, I was due.

Afterwards there was an apartment party in the suburbs. Turns out about 5 JETs all live in the same building, kind of crazy. That was a lot of fun, we were all native English speakers except for one Japanese. The next morning at the train station surrounded by people who could not understand a word of English, I felt like I was in a different world. What unfamiliarity! I had a reality hangover from the night before. Hanging out with gaikokujin in such large doses can be like eating at McDonalds. It tastes good, but its not real.

Weather’s getting warm! Cherry blossoms soon! About this time last year I was in Thailand and Japan with my parents on vacation. Time goes by fast.

See you later, peace.